It is surprisingly simple. In fact, it will appear as a “no brainer” and you may even think, “Well Yeah, Of Course!”
The truth is everyone makes this mistake. So even if you think, “Sure, but I don’t do that!” Well the facts are against you.
Have you ever scheduled an appointment you couldn’t keep? And then felt anxious about rescheduling it? And then, in an attempt to avoid these uncomfortable feelings, done your best to re-organize your calendar so this “never happens again!”
Or, have you ever felt so angry that you couldn’t help but write that outrageous e-mail and SEND it? In the midst of your heated one-sided dialogue you may even hear in your head, “I HAVE to send this e-mail. I won’t feel better unless I do!”
Or, have you ever calmly explained to your child why they are not allowed swear, even though mommy did? Thinking all the while how awful it would be for them to repeat that damn word in front of other children or worse yet, other children’s parents?
All of these examples demonstrate the biggest mistake. In each example, we attempt to change what we feel by changing the circumstances around us. We think that if we change outside circumstance, we will feel better. If we could just get control of our schedule, express our emotions, stop our kid from swearing, or what ever, “then I will feel better.”
The truth is that circumstance and our feelings are completely unrelated. You don’t have to believe me. Check it out for your self. The next time you feel awful and it looks like something awful is happening, ask yourself, “Do I really need to feel bad about this situation? Could it be that how I feel changes unrelated to my circumstance?”
Freedom is worth our every investigation.
Beyond Expectations is a relationship workshop coming up January 11th – 13th. This profound, life-changing conversation is available for individuals and couples. There are still 3 spots left. Contact Jeanne if you are ready to change your life. firstname.lastname@example.org